What Keeps You Up At Night?

I wish I could say that the thoughts I am soon to write about are few and far between, or abnormal even. For most people, maybe. I mean, society has a million and one other things to worry about including the economy, global pandemics, and whether or not they have a chance to meet a vampire if they move to Forks. I, on the other hand, don't bother with these lesser problems, but rather get right to the issues that matter. The very things that are so magnificently beyond the grasp of human understanding that it takes the likes of me to bring them to the public. So here goes...

Issue-meant-to-keep-you-up-at-night #1:

Imagine yourself walking across a parking lot, making your way to your vehicle in a casual manner. You look to your right and see rows of cars. Ok, expected. You look to your left and see more cars. Again, expected, but for the fact that one dark-colored SUV with the back hatch open catches your eye and you see a black family sitting in the back. This is allowable in the 21st century (yes, even in Wisconsin, but barely). You notice the father wearing an ensemble of all white, which nicely and very obviously contrasts with his skin. That's when the question hits you. The one that is meant to and surely will keep you up at night. When a black person wears all white clothing, are they considered to be gothic?


Issue-meant-to-keep-you-up-at-night #2:

I bet when you were younger that your parents told you that you could be anything you want to be. This is a parental stand-by to make children think they are better than they really are and to give them false hope in an already piss-poor world. Now, don't get me wrong, I fell for this farce as a child and still believed in it up until 3 days ago. That is, until my friend's sister explained the error of my ways. She told me that no matter how hard I tried, I could not be the first person in space. Damn, she's right. Fortunatley for me, I never aspired to this, so while another child's dreams were shattered, mine remained intact. It's a tough world out there, so it was hard to feel bad for the pathetic failure who would never amount to what their parents said they would. That's when I began thinking about what I longed to be more than anything. A Major League baseball player! A couple problems with that...I am a female and don't do steriods. Oh what a twisted fate. Not only does it suck that you really can't be ANYTHING you want, but to add insult to injury, a 14 year old called your parents dirty, filthy liars in such a subtle way that you just finally figured it out. And you write run-on sentences. Fail.


Issue-meant-to-keep-you-up-at-night #3:

The Muppets Wizard of Oz.